‘Golden Girls’ Chia Pets Exist Because The Universe Wants Us To Be Happy

The ‘Golden Girls’ Chia Pets are sold separately but you’ll want all four

If your decor needs a sassy pick-me-up to get you through to Halloween, look no further than a Golden Girls Chia Pet — because nothing says “I’m classing up this joint” more than Dorothy’s head sprouting a green bush centered on your living room table.

Amazon is selling these little slices of heaven, and to be honest, harvesting our very own crew of bushy Miami seniors, (Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia are all available), sounds like the best idea of all time aside from endless cheesecake-filled vent sessions. You’re probably gonna want the entire collection, or maybe just focus on one member of the crew. Dibs on Sophia.


Oh hello, Blanche Devereaux.


The planters come with three packets of chia seeds, a plastic tray, and, although they come with six-step care instructions, we won’t hold that against them because these ladies are worth the headache. According to the site, they have full growth within one to two weeks, which means they’ll match my legs during the winter solstice.

It’s good to know Dorothy’s still not here for anyone’s shit:



Fans have been in love with these four since the show first aired in 1985. During its eight-year run, people began to see themselves in one of the characters, dreaming of someday being able to live with their BFF’s in a retirement community and enter into the shenanigans of old age. Now, with the show being aired on Hulu, YouTube, and Amazon, new generations of people have grown to love them, too.

The show, though a comedy, also tackled serious issues like HIV/AIDS, gender discrimination, misogyny, sexual harassment, death, addiction, and so much more. The show gave a voice to that generation of women and highlighted the importance of women lifting each other up and being there for one another. It was a classic and what better way to honor these ladies than by watering and feeding their heads until they bloom into a green bush for all to enjoy.

The Chia Pets are each sold separately but it’s probably important to keep the ladies together because that’s how they’re most comfortable, and who are we to argue with perfection? In fact, not only are there Golden Girls Chia Pets to adorn your home, you can get everything from Golden Girls PEZ dispensers, granny panties (because who doesn’t want one of those faces covering their lady bits), and even an entire Golden Girls-themed cruise you can go on with all of your friends complete with a “One Night in St. Olaf Dance Party.”

Go ahead. Make Rose proud.


The Golden Girls Chia Pets sell for between $11-$17 depending on which lovely lady you choose (for some silly reason, Dorothy is cheapest) but frankly, those are bargain prices for what’s surely to become a treasured member of your household. Here’s hoping Golden Girls-themed products continue to become available for a very, very long time.

The post ‘Golden Girls’ Chia Pets Exist Because The Universe Wants Us To Be Happy appeared first on Scary Mommy.

New Show ‘Murder House Flip’ Combines Our Love Of True Crime And Home Reno

‘Murder House Flip’ will air in 2020 on new streaming service, Quibi

If you’re like me, the only shows you make time for (now that Game of Thrones is over) are murder mysteries or home renovations shows. If you, too, are part Joanna Gaines meets Keith Morrison there’s a show coming next year that will have you jumping for joy (whilst also saying RIP, obviously).

Murder House Flip is the next home improvement show, with one giant but — instead of renovating your run-of-the-mill suburban house, the hosts of the new series set their sights on homes where high-profile killings took place. Because murder.

Praise all that is Lester Holt, Murder House Flip will feature forensic specialists, renovation experts, and spiritual healers who will tell viewers about the good and bad history of each house and then renovate the home to the taste of potential home buyers. You know, minus the horrific killings that took place behind the walls.

The new series, which will air on new streaming service Quibi, an upcoming mobile-only streaming service. “We are excited to partner with Quibi to deliver a spin on a home makeover show in unique short form content,” Josh Berman, Executive Producer, said in a press release (via Deadline). “Murder House Flip combines home renovations with the intriguing elements of a true crime series.”

According to Berman, the show will focus on “bringing healing and solace to families living in the aftermath of tragic events by transforming dark places into healthy spaces.” Yes, that mean spiritual healers will be on hand to cleanse the house of its murdery juju so that future home-owners can bask in the glory of their new abode without worrying about ghosts and hauntings and shit.

According to the press release, this show will feature houses “known for the mysterious murders and incredible intrigue committed behind their walls. Homeowners turn to the colorful cast of forensic specialists, spiritual healers, and high-end renovation experts to uncover the true crimes, shocking secrets and scandalous history of their homes. Then, cleansing renovations remove the stains of the past and take these homes from morbid to marvelous.” Ohhhhhhh.

Quibi is new but already has some major powerhouses behind it including Liam Hemsworth, Guillermo del Toro, Steven Spielberg, Don Cheadle, Tyra Banks, Idris Elba, and Chrissy Teigen who’ve all signed on for projects. The service will “include premium scripted and unscripted content, chunked into sub-10-minute episodes,” and will cost $5 monthly (with ads) or $8 monthly (without ads).

I don’t know about you but I, for one, am looking forward to all things shiplap and open concept with a little bit of homicide thrown in for good measure. Add in a spiritual cleanser and all of our Saturday nights just got A Lot More Interesting.

The post New Show ‘Murder House Flip’ Combines Our Love Of True Crime And Home Reno appeared first on Scary Mommy.

‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ Is Coming To Netflix In October

Aaron Paul to star in the highly anticipated Breaking Bad movie which lands on Netflix and AMC this fall

If you’re like millions of others, Breaking Bad was one of the first series on Netflix you binge-watched, hanging on every word Walter White had to say. It’s been six years since the show’s final episode aired, but fans have reason to rejoice again because Netflix just announced that a Breaking Bad movie is coming to the streaming service, and we don’t have to wait long.

According to Netflix, the film, titled El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, is set to be released on October 11, 2019. Filming has been kept under tight wraps and there have been very few details about the stars or storyline. A brief description from Netflix reads: “In the wake of his dramatic escape from captivity, Jesse [Pinkman] must come to terms with his past in order to forge some kind of future.”


Netflix gave fans a one-minute teaser trailer, showing Skinny Pete being questioned by police about Jesse Pinkman’s whereabouts. “I don’t know what to tell you, and I’ve said like 500 times already, I have no idea where he is,” Pete says. “But even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you because I’ve been watching the news like everybody else. I’ve seen that little cage of his they kept him in. I heard about what all they did to him to make sure he kept cooking. So sorry, I don’t know what to tell you, but no way am I helping you people put Jesse Pinkman back inside a cage.”

People are understandably pumped that not only do we get the entire month of October to celebrate Halloween, we now have this movie to look forward to:

The film will star Aaron Paul, returning as meth cook and resident businessman Jesse Pinkman, and was written and directed by Vince Gilligan, the creator of the original series. “It’s a chapter of Breaking Bad that I didn’t realize that I wanted,” Paul told The New York Times. “And now that I have it, I’m so happy that it’s there.” So are we, Jesse. So are we.

No word if presumed dead Walter White (played by Bryan Cranston) will be making an appearance, but writers left his death somewhat open-ended. Many fans don’t believe he’s actually dead, so making a comeback in the film would be epic. If you don’t currently have Netflix, have no fear: The film will live on AMC following its Netflix premiere.

The popular series aired on the cable network from 2008 to 2013 and if you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for? You’ve got till October 11 to get caught up!

The post ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ Is Coming To Netflix In October appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Chrissy Teigen Laments Never Being In Family Photos Because She’s The One Taking Them

Chrissy Teigen is every mom wanting to be in a damn picture

We’re used to Chrissy Teigen getting us as moms. She’s one of the most relatable celebrities because she’s always telling it like it is and pointing out the good, bad, and hilarious of parenting. Her latest Instagram post is no exception when the mom-of-two pointed out one of the most annoying things about being the family’s resident picture taker: Moms are never in the photos.

“I never have pictures of myself because I am selfless and am the designated photo taker and keeper for my family and no one else seems to care to be thoughtful and take good photos of me,” Teigen wrote on Instagram. “They merely click them off without paying attention to angles or lighting or general photo ambience. but it’s okay. such is the life I chose.” Teigen signed the post with a hilarious, “To john.”

It’s funny because it’s true. Moms are usually the ones snapping all the family photos — from vacations to family outings to everyday moments we want to keep for eternity. We want our memories captured so we can look back over the years and see how much our kids have grown and remember all the fleeting moments that fly by while we’re busy raising a family. But rarely (unless it’s a posed family photo) are we actually in them, which sucks.

View this post on Instagram


A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

Legend replied later with one-word, “Wow,” which means he is, in fact, guilty and feels shame. But if you look at most of her family photos, they are either of daughter Luna, son Miles, or a combination of both kids, the kids and John, or the family dog, Puddy. While they are all sorts of adorable and we would like All Of Those Photo Combos to continue, Teigen is a great mom who adores her kids. She should be in the damn pictures, too.

View this post on Instagram

the two miles emotions

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

It’s funny because, as she points out, if moms are ever in an actual photo, it’s usually from a weird angle that makes us look like we have five chins.

Writer Allison Slater Tate touched on this issue more seriously a few years ago with her viral post, The Mom Stays In The Picture.

“I’m everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won’t be here — and I don’t know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now — but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother,” Slater Tate wrote.

View this post on Instagram

fucking love the grocery store

A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on

You’ve been put on notice, John. Get your gorgeous wife in some photos.

The post Chrissy Teigen Laments Never Being In Family Photos Because She’s The One Taking Them appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Hilary Duff To Star In ‘Lizzie McGuire’ Reboot About Being In Your 30s

The “Lizzie McGuire” reboot will stream exclusively on Disney Plus

On August 23, 2019, Disney Plus went all out and announced their jam-packed lineup for their forthcoming streaming service and one of their new series is a reboot of the beloved Disney Channel sitcom Lizzie McGuire. Millennial women of a certain age (*ahem, speaking*) basically grew up alongside the show’s lead actress Hilary Duff and Duff is back to star in the new series which will follow Lizzie as a 30-year-old trying to make it in New York City as a decorator.

The original series debuted on the Disney Channel in 2001 and starred Duff as a 13-year-old navigating middle school life with the help of her animated alter-ego who revealed what she was really thinking.

The show also launched the cultural phenomenom known as ~butterfly clips~.

Duff announced the news at Disney’s D23 EXPO on Friday and shared on Instagram Stories that she’d been wanting to revisit the series for years now, but it wasn’t until she and the show’s creator Terri Minsky landed on the “newly 30″ angle that the idea clicked.

“I think now is a great time for her to come back in her 30s,” Duff shared. “She’s everybody’s best friend and I can’t wait to go on this next chapter with her and I hope everyone is as excited as I am!”

Duff is extremely on board with the new project and told People that despite that fact that she and her onscreen persona have gone in different directions over the years (“Our lives are very different — she’s not a mother, I am already a mother”), she “can’t wait for [Lizzie’s] adventures, for her heartbreak, to see her goals, and what she’s done.”

On the show, Lizzie McGuire was a teenage fashionista and Duff said they originally thought about making adult Lizzie a fashion designer, but settled with having her work as the apprentice to a “fancy New York City decorator.”

“We toyed around with her being a fashion designer because that’s obviously a big part of the show, but I’m like, ‘I think that’s too obvious,’” Duff added. “She has a few really cool quirks and her job is really cool but she hasn’t totally found her way and I think that’s part of her journey.”

Speaking on behalf of all Disney-loving millennial women — we are very much here for this.


The post Hilary Duff To Star In ‘Lizzie McGuire’ Reboot About Being In Your 30s appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Disney Releases Teasers Of What Will Be On Disney Plus

Disney Plus is almost here and the line-up is looking pretty epic

Disney has a new streaming service, appropriately called Disney Plus, and it’s almost almost here. That’s why they took to Twitter to properly introduce themselves to the greater public and of course, to tease us, too. Because, well, they can.

We’re chomping at the bit! But we’re also cool with it because what’s coming looks pretty damn awesome. We’ll just have to wait a little longer. Deep breaths, people. Deep breaths.

The streaming service can’t come soon enough but in case you missed it, that date is November 12th to be exact. So mark it down on your calendars. Jot it down on a Post It note and stick it to your mirror next to your positive affirmations and your vision board. Basically, just remember it. Chances are, with all this service has to offer, you won’t need the reminders anyway.

Ahead of the date, what better than a few nods to who and what we’re going to see on the network to get us really pumped. As if we aren’t already? It definitely has something for everyone.

Here’s a taste of what they just let out of the bag.

An original series starring Jeff Goldblum? Where do we sign up again?

And who doesn’t love a good Christmas movie, especially one starring comic geniuses, Anna Kendrick and Bill Hader?

Star Wars fans are definitely going to lose it over this series.

And a High School Musical series? OMFG. Disney Plus, where have you been all our lives?

A new version of Lady and the Tramp will be streaming, too.

Some of these new films look like they are bound to be must-sees. But clearly, there’s a bit of everything. Including a Home Alone reboot. Hells to the YEAH. It’s kind of the perfect way to get your nostalgia and your taste of what’s hot and trending all in the same place.

Of course, some things, like Jeff Goldblum, we’ll take any which way. Old or new. Really doesn’t matter. He’s always perfect.

Either way, it’ll be a little easier come November to tune into some of the shows you really want. Like The Simpsons, for example. All in all, there will be 7,500 episodes of current and off-air TV shows, 25 original series, 10 original movies, 400 library movies and 100 recent theatrical films. Basically it’s Disney… but better and with a whole lot of variety.

Of course there will be Disney films, but also Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, National Geographic, and more. Not to mention, Disney Plus will be relatively affordable compared to other streaming services like it. It costs $6.99 a month or an annual plan of $69.99 a year. Not too shabby!

Consider us properly teased and ready for all this new service has to offer.

Bring it on, Disney Plus.

The post Disney Releases Teasers Of What Will Be On Disney Plus appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Kourtney Kardashian Tries To Sell ‘Hoo Ha’ Cleansers And Women Aren’t Here For It

Apparently our ‘hoo-has’ need to smell a certain way?

Somehow it’s 2019 and capitalism is still trying to convince women that our vaginas are anything but perfect just the way they are. Sigh. Kourtney Kardashian’s lifestyle website, Poosh, is trying to sell a line of vaginal cleansers to its target audience. While that may seem somewhat unremarkable on its own, it’s the way Poosh is trying to market the cleansers that’s noteworthy.

Namely, the fact that Poosh, which kind of sounds like a euphemism for “vagina” as it is, loves calling it anything but a vagina in its marketing tweet.

Not entirely sure what a yoni is or why we need to keep one healthy, but if they mean VAGINA, well fun fact — those are self-cleaning! “If you’re ready to make the switch to the clean(er) side, you’ve come to the right spot,” the Poosh site reads. “We’re sharing feminine washes (and one option if you’re more of a wipes gal) that are safe for your precious parts.”


Since Poosh is rather, uh, vaginally vague about what we’re supposed to be washing — here you go: There is a difference between washing the vulva (the external genital area) and the vagina (the first part of the reproductive system inside the body, leading to the uterus).

There is absolutely no need to wash the vagina; it truly is its own self-cleaning device with regular cell turnover and a highly-tuned pH and microbiome. Getting cleansers or douches inside the vagina can mess with the science and balance of things or lead to infection. Or, in other words, it can make your yoni very sad.

Naturally, the women of the internet had a field day roasting Poosh for trying to convince us we need to keep things “fresh down there.” Because patriarchy.

The blog on Poosh does say that the “vagina is a self-cleansing machine” but still pushes the narrative that they need a “little extra love for the external areas.” Double sigh.

Back in college, I succumbed to the idea that my vagina wasn’t good enough the way it was and that even though I showered daily, I needed special vagina soap to keep things “fresh.” Well sure enough, after a few months of using it, I was in my OBGYN’s office with a prescription to cure the bacterial vaginosis I’d contracted as a result of messing up my pH balance. The first question she asked me was whether I was douching or using a vaginal cleanser. The entire thing was uncomfortable, inconvenient, embarrassing, and most of all — an easily avoidable experience altogether. I have never disrupted the inner peace of my yoni ever again, and I never will.

Though this tweet is definitely still making the rounds on Twitter, Kourtney Kardashian and Poosh have yet to comment on a.) clarifying what a “yoni” actually is; and b.) their role in making women try to feel insecure about their vaginas.

The post Kourtney Kardashian Tries To Sell ‘Hoo Ha’ Cleansers And Women Aren’t Here For It appeared first on Scary Mommy.

‘Descendants’ Star Shares Braless Selfie And Women Are Applauding

Dove Cameron posted a sans bra selfie on Instagram this week and loads of support rolled in

Did you all know that even Disney stars have nipples?

Many of Dove Cameron’s followers seemed shocked by that fact this week when The Descendants star posted a picture where they were clearly present and accounted for. While, of course, there was shock and backlash, there was also tons of generous support (pun-intended), too.

Cameron posted two pictures to her Instagram with uplifting, feminism-inspired messages. What a badass young feminist she is. Who knew? Probably all of our daughters.

“Women HAVE a history that has been systematically suppressed,” one message read, which was a quote from Trista Hendren. “Our collective spirituality has largely been tainted to fit the needs of men and those in power. This has a profound effect on the self-esteem of girls and the women they become. This influence can be seen in their life choices, partners and financial security for the rest of their lives. It also has an effect on the way their future partners will view them – and ultimately treat them. Our girls deserve better. The time to introduce feminism and woman-centered spirituality to ALL children is now.”

Another quote from Elizabeth Eiler read, “However you inhabit and express being Woman, embrace yourself in that way today!”

A few shocked fans felt like Disney stars shouldn’t be running around, letting the world know they have functional nipples. As opposed to, ya know, male non-functioning nipples which no one ever seems to be deeply offended at seeing. Some pointed out that Cameron is a role model to young girls and and and how DARE she!?

Uh, yeah. Seems like she totally knows her impact and was embracing it with her posts. And why the hell not? The message was to love yourself! Not hide hide hide.

Right, Dove? Some of your followers missed that much. But we’ve got your back.

View this post on Instagram

can i get a hey ladiezzz

A post shared by ♡DOVE♡ (@dovecameron) on

It should go without saying that the 23-year-old Disney channel star IS A GROWN WOMAN. And she can make her own choices to show off a little nip now and then if she wants. CLEARLY. Just watch her.

But honestly, it’s 2019. Are we seriously still debating whether a woman is allowed to show the outline of her nipple? Because WHO. FREAKING. CARES?

Either way, it doesn’t really matter what the haters had to say. Dove’s followers stepped UP and totally spoke out in support of her photos and her inspiring words.


Some even said that they felt like she was an even better role model for their kids now because she was being just plain real.

I mean, do we really want our kids growing up ashamed of their bodies anyway? Empowering girls and women to own their bodies was her entire point. And it’s a good one!

Here’s to Dove being Dove and you being you. And most importantly, our girls growing up believing they can just be themselves. And whatever the hell they want while they’re at it.

Nips included.

The post ‘Descendants’ Star Shares Braless Selfie And Women Are Applauding appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Disney Plus Finally Announces Its Pricing — And Bundles With Hulu And ESPN

Disney Plus announced its new bundle pricing with Hulu and ESPN, and it’s a better deal than Netflix

Back in April, Disney Plus announced that the monthly fee for its forthcoming streaming service would be a cool $7 per month and only $5.83 a month if you paid annually. With only a few months left before the launch of the streaming service, Disney has upped the ante and is offering a bundle package with Hulu and ESPN Plus for the low price of $13 a month.

For comparison, a basic Hulu service that includes commercial breaks is $5.99 per month, HBO Now is $14.99 per month, and the average Netflix plan is $13 month, though you can only stream that plan on two screens simultaneously (it’s $16 a month if you want four screens).

With the new Disney Plus bundle package, all ESPN and Disney content will stream ad-free, though the bundled Hulu option will play with commercial breaks. If you want the ad-free Hulu account, presumably you’d have to buy that a ‘la carte.

So what do you get with Disney Plus?

Disney Plus will stream everything from the Disney libraries (we’re talking Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, and just plain old, you know, Disney vault classics like Bambi, Snow White, etc), plus many shows from the Fox catalog (Simpson‘s episodes, for example).

Disney Plus will also be home to brand new streaming-only content too. On the Lucas Film side, there’s the live-action Star Wars series’ The Mandalorian and the Rogue One prequel series. For Marvel content, they’ve already announced four series based around popular Avengers characters (Falcon, Winter Soldier, Loki, Scarlett Witch, Vision, and Hawkeye). There are also several series, remakes, and reboots in the works based on beloved films including Home Alone and High School Musical. Theatrical Disney films like the recent Lion King remake will still play in theaters but will be available to stream on Disney Plus several months after the fact.

Not only does Disney Plus seem like music to our ears, but all the Disney, Marvel, and Star Wars content will be wiped from Netflix as soon as the platform launches on November 12, 2019.

However — and this is a big however — when Disney Plus launches, it won’t have all the aforementioned shows. Most of the Marvel series haven’t even been filmed yet. As the Disney Plus library grows over time, that sweet $7 per month fee will likely go up. According to Cnet.com, Disney Chief Financial Officer even referred to the $7-a-month fee as the “initial” price. For comparison, Netflix’s standard streaming plan was $7.99 when it was introduced in 2010 and now the same plan is $13.99.

That being said, if we can watch The Handmaid’s Tale, Monday Night Football, Frozen, and a bunch of Marvel TV shows all on the same platform — that’s one happy and entertained family right there.

The post Disney Plus Finally Announces Its Pricing — And Bundles With Hulu And ESPN appeared first on Scary Mommy.

Keanu Reeves Leaves Sweet Note For Young Fans Because He’s An Actual Angel

Keanu Reeves surprised a family in Louisiana with a personal note on his way to the Bill & Ted set

Keanu Reeves is having a renaissance. Reeves enthusiasm is so high lately, there’s even a petition to make him “Person of the Year,” so it should come as no surprise that when Reeves saw a sweet note that a couple of fans wrote for him near the set of Bill & Ted Face The Music, he literally stopped by their house, signed an autograph, and hung out for a bit!

Stacey Hunt and her sons heard that Reeves was in Slidell, Louisiana to shoot the Bill & Ted sequel, so she thought it would be cute to welcome him to town with a sign. Hunt and her 13-year-old son made a yard sign that said “You’re Breathtaking” in reference to Reeves’ comment at the E3 gaming expo last month (he told the crowd “you’re breathtaking” and naturally, the phrase became a meme).

A few hours after Hunt posted the “breathtaking” sign on the lawn, a car pulled up to Hunt’s house. Who hopped out of that car, you ask? The man himself, Keanu “Breathtaking” Reeves.

“Wow! Yesterday was a dream come true!” Hunt shared on Twitter. “We knew [Keanu Reeves] was filming up the street so my son said we need to make a sign that says ‘you’re breathtaking’ so we did! A few cars stopped but then a car stopped and there he was!! He actually stopped! Oh my heavens!”

Hunt asked Reeves if he would sign her poster (he wrote “Stacy, you’re breathtaking”), and take a photo with the family. Naturally, the internet’s boyfriend did both, plus Hunt said he lingered a bit and talked about Bill and Ted and The Matrix.

Here’s a better shot of Reeves’ handwriting (courtesy of Bill and Ted screenwriter Ed Solomon), in case you wanna zoom in and pretend Reeves wrote you a note. Listen, we don’t judge.

Apparently, the entire neighborhood is fired up for Reeves’ appearance on their block. Some neighborhood kids even stopped by the set with homemade beignets.

But back to Reeves and his sign. Hunt said the interaction confirmed everything the internet has told her about Reeves, which for those playing along at home, is: He is sexy (see: his cameo in Always Be My Maybe). He is funny and family-friendly (see: his voice role in Toy Story 4). He loves animals (see: his Buzzfeed puppy interview). He is respectful (see: his photos with female fans).

“What you read about him being such a great person with a great heart is true,” Hunt told CNN. “At least that’s what I think from my few minutes with him.”

Reeves is a private, poetic, affable, emotional intelligent modern-day prince and naturally, the world has absolutely no choice but to stan. BRB while we pack some poster board and book a flight out to Louisiana.

The post Keanu Reeves Leaves Sweet Note For Young Fans Because He’s An Actual Angel appeared first on Scary Mommy.