It’s Mother’s Day, So Leave Me The Hell Alone

The irony of Mother’s Day is that mothering is the exact last thing I want to do on this one special day of the year dedicated to the moms who give their all to these tiny fart nugget children who are also the pride and joy of our very existence in this life. 

Holla at me if you relate to any of the following: 

I’ve bled for these children, fluctuated 50 lbs a piece for these children, fed these children (FROM MY OWN BOOBS WHICH ARE NOW SAD AND FLAPPY BECAUSE OF IT), lost sleep for these children (so much sleep, remember what it felt like to sleep? ), sprouted varicose veins for these children, gotten stitches in my vagina for these children, spent all of my money on these children, attended so many games and practices for these children where they do nothing but swarm around a ball, or sit in the outfield and stare at the sun. Driven all over kingdom come for these children.

happy mothers day sleep

Worn my heart on the outside of my body for the past 9+ years for these children. 

I DRIVE A FREAKING MINIVAN FOR THESE CHILDREN. 

And yet, the last thing I want to do on this blessed day is to actually be around these children. Like, at all. 

It’s nothing personal, my sweet darlings. It’s just that I want a day. One day, just one where I can 100% check out and the house doesn’t burn down and life goes on and we all wake up the next morning and go back to our old routines.

I need one day to enjoy Netflix to my heart’s delight, to sleep in, to lock the door without small hands sticking underneath or anyone asking me to help them wipe. One day without breaking up a fight, just one. I need one day where Dad handles it all. I don’t want flowers necessarily (although, I wouldn’t say no because flowers are beautiful and delicate, just like me), I don’t even need a gift.

I do want my children to understand that this is a special day just for Mom where we have to leave her alone, OR ELSE, and that they all must make her a card professing their love and appreciation, even if that card just has their name written on it with some half-crooked hearts and something that looks like an orc drawn on there which actually turns out to be a rendering of yours truly.

Whatever, it’s fine. I’ll take it. 

Dads or significant others, do your lady a solid on this Mother’s Day if you’ve still got kids at home (and if they’re gone make sure you remind them to call home because duh, still important): 

  1. Have each child write a card or note to her expressing their love and undying devotion and appreciation and make sure you write her one too.
  2. Let her sleep in
  3. Get her favorite treat and leave it like a peace offering at the bedroom door. Don’t open the door unless she specifically calls for you and invites you into her kingdom, for she is the queen of the day. Or whatever. 
  4. Don’t ask her to do anything. Anything at all. If she comes out of her room don’t make eye contact and just stare at the ground unless she speaks to you directly. 
  5. Don’t ask any questions either, you can figure it out for one single day. 
  6. Prepare or fetch any food for her that she desires. Bonus points for having her favorite treat on hand (*COUGH CHOCOLATE COVERED CINNAMON BEARS).
  7. Let her wake up to a clean house. Do the dishes, don’t leave laundry out, just take care of the kids and all the stuff she does every single day. You can do it. Don’t screw this up. 
  8. Don’t forget to call your own mom and tell her you love her too. She’s important, DO NOT FORGET. 

I recognize that I don’t speak for all moms, but for all moms who are on the same page as me…all we want is one dang day. 

Tomorrow, it’s back to business as usual. 

Happy Mother’s Day! Now leave me the hell alone. 

 

 

 

The post It’s Mother’s Day, So Leave Me The Hell Alone appeared first on TodaysMama.

If Mom Gets a Nap for Mother’s Day I’m Going to SCREAM

*climbs onto soapbox”

I’ve noticed something over the last few years. Every Mother’s Day I see moms posting messages on Facebook or Instagram sharing messages of gratitude and heartfelt appreciation for the fact that they….

Wait for it…

Got to take a nap.

A nap.

Now, let me back up and tell you that each Mother’s Day since my children were born, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the fact that I get to parent two wonderful kiddos. Before I became a mother, I enjoyed the opportunity to high-five my own mom for being literally the most amazing person that I know. (Sorry. I got the best one.)

Let me also clarify that I’m not looking for a substantial cash investment. I’ll take a handprint on a piece of paper or a pasta necklace any day. Or a big dog pile of hugs and a chorus of “Mother’s Day!”

But DO NOT gift me a nap.

DO. NOT.

Sleep in a necessity like food. Let’s not consider it a luxury or a treat. Let’s commit to taking care of ourselves and our sleep ON THE DAILY. Not just Mother’s Day. 

You aren’t doing anyone any good running around ragged and sleep deprived. So do me a favor and don’t sit around dreaming of your annual Mother’s Day nap. GET SOME REST. Here’s why:

Sleep plays a critical role in your physical, mental, and emotional health.

via GIPHY

“If you don’t get it, your body operates under stress.  Sleep deprivation has been linked to increases in depression, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, as well as memory and cognitive problems.” (Via Psychology Today

Um. I’m no doctor, but even I can grasp that correlation. 

How about this: NAPS MAY IMPROVE FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE. (Via The New York Times

If ever there was a thing that literally ANY parent could use, it sure as hell is “improved frustration tolerance”

via GIPHY

Oh and if that wasn’t enough, it turns out that we reach for less healthy food when we are sleep deprived. 

“The research showed that when the subjects were bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, they strongly preferred the food choices that were highest in calories, like desserts, chocolate and potato chips.” (Via The New York Times)

I don’t need a study to tell me that. I could set my watch to my 3 PM potato chip craving.

via GIPHY

The irony here is that ANY parent will tell you that sleep is important. What’s the question we all ask first-time parents?

“Is the baby sleeping through the night yet?”

Because we remember those foggy days in newborn land when we wondered how on earth we were going to make it through a day on such little sleep.

So when I hear people say “I got to take a nap!” what I hear is something along the lines of “I was permitted to eat!”

Setting the bar a bit low, aren’t we?

Because the barrier to that afternoon nap? It’s you.

You are entitled to take care of your needs.

Let me say it again:

YOU ARE ENTITLED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS.

The people in your life that love you? They want you to be happy and healthy. They want the best version of you. They would probably leap at the chance to give you what you most desire. And if taking a nap has become an annual luxury then you’re doing it wrong.

As mothers we need to do a better job of raising our hand and asking for the help we need. We need to be thoughtful and honest about what makes us tick, and be willing to prioritize that for ourselves.

I would wager that most moms have heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

That’s a completely true statement. You can’t.

So let’s agree that we’re going to do a better job of asking for what we need to feel rested and restored—WEEKLY NOT ANNUALLY.

*climbs off soapbox”

 

via GIPHY