Dear Anxious Mama

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Dear Anxious Mama,

You’re not Alone.

I know you’re in the trenches just trying to make it one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

You’re not alone.

I know some days you feel like you just can’t do it and you want to cry. You want to cry hard. It’s okay, Mama.

Cry. And Cry Hard.

I know you think you are failing your kids, your husband, even yourself.

But Mama, you’re not failing anyone.

I know public places can be overwhelming. What if you lose a child or one gets taken? I have been there too, Mama.

You’re not alone.

I know sometimes you dislike you’re kids.

Somedays, I dislike mine too.

I know you are praying hard Mama. Keep praying. God hears you, and He hasn’t forgotten you.

I know that you are ashamed and feeling guilty, sometimes wondering if this is the life you were cut out for. It is okay

Mama. I have those days too.

You’re not alone.

I know it is hard to get out of bed sometimes because sleep deprivation is pure torture and it has sucked out every ounce of energy you may have in you. I know this form of exhaustion all too well Mama, especially when my babies were first born. Sometimes it turns into a depression. I know you love being a Mama, but some days are just covered in clouds. It’s okay Mama.

You’re not alone.

I know that you might be seeing a therapist, someone to talk to and help you through this season. Good for you Mama.

You are not alone.

I know you may need to see a Doctor, get some help, and get on some anxiety or depression meds. It’s okay Mama. You need to care of yourself.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is just recognizing that you can’t do it alone.

Mama, sometimes you have to take the first steps to be the change you want to see.

I know most days you have not a single clue what you’re doing Mama.

You’re not alone, that is truly what Motherhood is.

Love yourself a little more Mama because you are in the trenches taking it one day, one hour, one minute at a time! And you’re not alone, Mama.

Sincerely, I’m in the trenches too.

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10 Best Broadway Shows for Kids this Spring in NYC

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From Disney musicals to shows involving social issues, there has never been a better time to catch a show on Broadway with your child. Whether it’s their first experience or not, Broadway has something special to offer everyone, every single night of the week. With its spectacular sets and costumes, first-rate performers, and a chance to wait at the stage door after a show, Broadway is where it’s at.

So do what you can – clear your schedule, book tickets in advance or look for discounts, and use this handy list of ten Broadway shows we think your kids will love this spring.

 

Frozen

Frozen at the St. James Theatre is the newest and brightest play for kids on Broadway. This movie turned Broadway production is widely anticipated by many and, thankfully, the play is worth the wait and ticket price. It’s the beloved story of a kingdom that gets trapped in perpetual winter due to a spell cast by the Snow Queen and the journey of her sister to save the day. The play faithfully brings Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Kristoff, and the evil Prince to the stage, along with a few new songs, a grand set and, naturally, “Let it Go.” Recommended for kids ages 6 and up – make sure your daughters or granddaughters don their favorite princess costume. They’ll be far from the only ones!

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Come From Away

Come From Away at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre is a musical about the incredible true story of 7,000 plane passengers who landed in Gander, Newfoundland on 9/11 and stayed for a few days, getting to know the natives. The cast of 12 lays a multitude of characters who lived through the experience, and the result is heroic and memorable, along with some completely memorable tunes.. It’s the kind of play that will restore faith in mankind and make you wonder how you never heard about Gander. This show is recommended for kids ages 12 and up….after all, it’s 9/11 and there are dark tragedies that transpired on that dark, dark day.

 

Anastasia

Anastasia at the Broadhurst Theatre is based on the 1997 Disney animated film of the same name. Through music and an intoxicating story, the show is about a brave woman, as we follow her from Russia to Paris, with a huge desire to find out who after losing her family as a young girl. Her journey involves discovering the truth about her royal family’s tragic history. Along the way, she not only encounters danger but also a bit of romance, which ultimately leads her to a new life. The play a grand theatrical experience that will stand out in any child’s memory. It features a book by playwright Terrence McNally. This show is recommended for kids ages 6 and up.

 

The Play that Goes

The Play that Goes Wrong at the Lyceum Theatre comes to NYC after a successful West End run in London. The show is about an accident-prone university drama society performing a play about a murder mystery. As the characters melt down, so does the set, and it ends in total chaos. It’s complete slapstick and the cast incorporates the audience into the show. If you’re looking for a good night out on Broadway that is full of laughter, this show is for you and your kids. This show is recommended for kids ages 10 and up.

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Wicked

Wicked the Musical has been gracing the Broadway stage since 2003, and it’s still popular with audiences. It’s the untold musical story, based on the book by Gregory Maguire, of The Wizard of Oz’s Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good, before Dorothy dropped in. It’s quite a magical journey for any theater goer with its grand set, costumes, and a musical score straight from heaven, and if you make this your child’s first Broadway show, you won’t go wrong. The recommended minimum age is 8 for this show as it is long in length and has a storyline that is a tad complex.

 

Aladdin

Aladdin at the New Amsterdam Theatre is an ideal show for any Disney-obsessed child, of which there are many. Based on the musical film, with music by Alan Menken, it’s the story of a poor man granted three wishes by a genie in a lamp and his affection for Princess Jasmine. Little girls love putting on their best Princess gear for this grand show, and special needs parents should keep an eye out for autism-friendly performances. This show is recommended for kids ages 6 and up.

 

Dear Evan Hansen

Dear Evan Hansen at the Music Box Theatre is a show for older kids, preferably teenagers, and it’s sure to blow anyone’s minds with its dazzling songs, relatable plot, and powerful storytelling. It’s a socially conscious show revolving around technology, social media, and bullying. As timely and current as the show is, the actors are equally as compelling. The score by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who also happened to write the lyrics for “The Greatest Showman,” as well as musical direction by Alex Lacamoire from “Hamilton,” will also floor you. This show is recommended for kids ages 13 and up.

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School of Rock

School of Rock at the Winter Garden Theatre is a play for fans of the film it was based on, as well as

music lovers. Based on the Richard Linklater film starring Jack Black and adapted by “Downton Abbey” creator Julian Fellowes. the show is a faithful adaptation with songs composed by the iconic Andrew Lloyd Webber. It offers up a lot of great lessons, including fostering independence, doing what you love, and being accepted for who you are.  Another wonderful possibility is that your special needs child will embrace the play’s sense of familiarity, strong music, and sit through a show for the first time. Our recommendation is that this show is for kids ages 8 and up.

 

Kinky Boots

Kinky Boots at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre will make any kid think about what is most important to them with its credo of “You change the world when you change your mind” mantra. Based on a book by Harvey Fierstein, with songs written by Cyndi Lauper, it won six Tony Awards. It’s the true story of English shoe factory owner Charlie Price, who saves his family business by manufacturing shoes for a niche market: Drag queens. The songs are so catchy that kids will go dancing right out of the theater. This show is recommended for kids ages 8 and up.

 

 

Hello Dolly

Hello Dolly at the Shubert Theater is an adaptation of the famous film about Dolly Levi, a New York matchmaker who falls in love with Yonkers merchant Horace Vandergelder. It takes place in the 1880’s and is based on Thornton Wilder’s play The Matchmaker, which debuted on Broadway in 1964. The play features some famous songs, such as ‘Put On Your Sunday Clothes’ and ‘It Only Takes A Moment’ and it’s a classic theater experience for any child. Bette Midler debuted in the role as Dolly in this version; then the role went to Donna Murphy; and now the legendary and amazing Bernadette Peters has stepped into the role. You can’t go wrong with any of these phenomenal women. This show is recommended for kids ages 10 and up.

 

 

About the Author

Holly Rosen Fink is a full-time marketer and part-time writer living in Larchmont, NY with her husband and two children.

 

 

 

 

 

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Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

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Listen. Cookies make the world go round. But the life gets BUSY, so cake mix cookies to the rescue! Most of these cake mix cookies come together with just THREE INGREDIENTS.

If there are more, it’s simply because we got so excited at the prospect of including one candy or chocolate chip variety, that we went buck wild and included, oh I don’t know, TWO.

All of our cake mix cookie recipes are delicious and cook up in a flash. And they are so easy that these all make a great recipe for little kids to help out with.

Want to whip up an after school treat, need something for a potluck, want to do a little weekend baking with the kiddos (without it being a big messy commitment?) Look no further.

I’m not sure I could pick a favorite….they are all so delicious! But my kids could. Because Funfetti cake mix cookies will win EVERY TIME. Nothing better than surprising a kiddo after school with a funfetti cookie, amirite?!

Click through for the full recipe for each of these easy cake mix cookie recipes and go stock up on cake mixes the next time they are on sale! You won’t be sorry.

Red Velvet Chocolate Chip Cake Mix Cookies

In my book nothing says “I Love You” like baked goods. Count red velvet cake mix cookies as part of that “I Love You” baking magic. Keep your flowers and your jewelry. If you want to fast-track your way to my heart, come bearing carbs. Preferably chocolately carbs. This recipe for Double Chocolate Red Velvet Lazy Cookie Cake will delight your eyes and your belly. Mostly your belly. Bonus points for being super easy and super quick. THIS is the recipe to turn over to your cooking-loving kiddo.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs Cookies

Our obsession with Easter candy continues—and now we’ve found a way to make Reese’s Peanut Butter Cookies by combining the glorious ease of a cake mix cookie with the traffic-stopping deliciousness of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs. You know how Reese’s peanut butter cups deliver the magic balance of chocolate and peanut butter? These Cake Mix Reese’s Peanut Butter Cookies are the perfect cookie-slash-brownie embodiment of that candy treat.

A candy treat that we’re more than a little obsessed with.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Cake Mix Cadbury Mini Egg Cookies Recipe

When I’m cruising through the grocery store and I see Cadbury Mini Eggs for the first time on the shelves, it’s like a record scratch. When I saw them, I thought, WE MUST make Cake Mix Cadbury Mini Egg Cookies! As impossible as it may seem to improve upon the crispy shelled magic of a Cadbury Mini Egg, I found that adding them to a cake mix cookie was a buttery, delicious way of prolonging my enjoyment of this seasonal treat. Because, if motivated (or left unsupervised,) I can power through an entire bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs in under a day, but would consider wolfing down a whole batch of cookies pretty challenging.

Challenging, not impossible.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Cadbury Mini Egg Cake Mix Cookies — White Chocolate Version!

Cadbury Mini Eggs have hit store shelves! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. It’s time to make the most of those chocolatey jewels and whip up Cadbury Mini Egg Chocolate Cookies. We were first inspired to create a blonde and buttery version of this cookie with regular milk chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs which you can find here, but never one to be creatively limited in the kitchen, I saw fit to toss a few bags of the WHITE chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs into my basket to see if my suspicions were true…that a chocolate cake mix cookie and a white chocolate egg could come together for sweet Easter bliss. I WAS RIGHT!

Cadbury Mini Egg Chocolate Cookies have made all of my dreams come true.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Easy Lemon Cookies from Cake Mix

Are you ready for something with a little ZING?! How about these easy-as-pie lemon cookies from cake mix? And because we’re hopelessly devoted to chocolate in all of it’s glorious iterations, we’ve added creamy white chocolate chips to the mix. Of course lemon fans will tell you that this bright flavor is welcome all year round, but Spring seems to be a really fantastic time to break out of the heavy flavors of winter baking.
RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Funfetti Cake Mix Cookies—Just 3 Ingredients

Having kids in the kitchen is fun and they ask adorable questions and pride themselves on their stellar egg cracking skills. They are ready to tackle some solo projects. These Funfetti Cake Mix Cookies are just the ticket – THREE INGREDIENTS and some low-level stirring skills and you’ll be enjoying a cookie that can’t help but make you smile.

Come on! FUNFETTI. The most joyous cake mix ever invented.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Red White and Blue Cake Mix Cookie Bars

If you’re feeling patriotic, these red, white and blue cake mix cookie bars are for you! They are the perfect treat for a Fourth of July barbecue, Memorial Day Picnic or a kids baking project for a lazy summer day. I’ve been dying to try the blue velvet cake mix and I was not disappointed—it’s light vanilla flavor pairs perfectly with the classic red velvet richness. These red, white and blue cake mix cookie bars are just the best. Like all of our cake mix cookies, these come together so easily and only require a few things!

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

S’mores Chocolate Cake Mix Cookies

I love s’mores. They are one of the best parts of camping for me—the gooey marshmallow with a crispy outside, the simpleness of graham crackers and of course, chocolate. These chocolate cake mix cookies embody all that I love about s’mores and add on the perk of being a delicious cookie!! The best part about these S’mores Chocolate Cake Mix Cookies? You can totally make them with a yellow cake too if you’re not feeling chocolate that day (I don’t understand how that could happen, but if it does we’ve got you covered!)

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Chocolate Turtle Devils Food Cake Mix Cookies

These chocolate turtle devils food cake mix cookies are just what you need as you send your kiddos off to school! Curling up with a few of these, a glass of milk and all the TV you’re not allowed to watch while they’re home is what mom dreams are made of. They are so decadent for how easy it is to make them. Be warned-the caramel goodness is sticky and will cling hours after consumption causing you to look a lot like cookie monster as you welcome your children home for school. That happened to a friend of mine, not me.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cake Mix Cookies

In college my roommate made these amazing pumpkin chocolate chip cake mix cookies. I had never had something so perfectly pumpkiny—this was back before you could find absolutely everything pumpkin spice and it blew my mind! They have been a favorite ever since and a staple at our house every fall. And I’ve recreated it!

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

Easy Chocolate Peppermint Cake Mix Cookies

Through the fall I love pumpkin and as soon as Thanksgiving is over, it’s time for peppermint. These easy chocolate peppermint cake mix cookies are quick to make and sure to be a hit at your next holiday party! The addition of cream cheese to the batter adds a buttery flavor and makes them soft and fluffy-my favorite kind of cookie.

RECIPE AVAILABLE HERE. 

Cake Mix Cookies The Monster List of Recipes

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The Best Advice I Got In Therapy

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I don’t want to brag, but I’m a CHAMPION WORRIER.

My super power is combining two awesome thinking errors into one glorious anxiety-inducing situation: catastrophizing and fortune-telling.

Catastrophizing: thinking things are worse than they are.
Fortune Telling: predicting doom and gloom.

The Best Advice I Got In Therapy

How do I know this about myself?

Once, when I was very new to therapy, I sat in a therapy group where the counselor talked to us about “thinking errors.” One such thinking error is “fortune telling” — basically predicting doom and gloom when you have no reason to dwell on such bad things occurring.

As he described the uselessness of fortune telling—funneling all of your energy and thoughts into planning, in great detail, just how tremendously badly things could go and letting those thoughts brew anxiety and sadness inside your mind and body—I scowled and folded my arms.

The counselor picked up on that and asked what I was thinking…

“But I’m a mother. I have a responsibility to my children to consider what could happen in the future and how it could impact them. So I can protect them.”

I figured this would stump him.

Because how on Earth do you argue with that? I’m pretty sure the official job description for “Mom” is fortune telling and catastrophizing.

His wise and helpful response was this:

“You’re right, you do have a responsibility to have a plan. Think of it like this; you sit down with your family and discuss what you will do in case of a fire. You decide to meet across the street by the tree. Now you have a plan in case of a fire. But you shouldn’t lay in bed awake every night waiting for your house to burn down. Make a plan and move on.”

BOOM.

I think of that advice all the time. Really. ALL THE TIME.

Because even with the help of therapy, and a stack of really fantastic (heavily highlighted) books, I still worry. A lot.

But now, I know how to either identify my worrying as useless busy work (which is just a distraction from seeking gratitude and joy), or to funnel it into some productive problem solving. Either way, I’m able to move on.

MAKE A PLAN AND LET IT GO.

But maybe that feels like tempting fate? If I actually allow myself to truly walk through what I would do if the big scary thing happens, maybe the universe will take it as a sign to make that bad thing happen?!

Like, the Universe, or your higher power of choice is going bring you up in the Monday morning meeting:

“Well it looks like Erin has mapped out her own personal worst case scenario. Let’s go ahead and make that happen for her. I mean, she’s put in so much work. It would be a shame to waste it.”

THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Worrying aimlessly is useless. If you’re going to worry, make it count. Worry with a purpose! Set a timer for 15 minutes. Worry, formulate your plan, and tuck it away in case you ever need it.

I bet you’ll never need it.

And you’ll sleep better.

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Post Script: If you are in a situation that is hard and scary—your metaphorical house is actually burning down—please reach out and talk to your friends and family. Let the people that love you, support and help you.

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Vacation Envy: What’s It Really About?

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Is it bad to say I hate school breaks? I guess that’s not entirely true, I like breaks. I like having the kids home. I like camping in the spring and swimming in the summer. And lucky me married a teacher, so I get to see him every day during those breaks. Those things, I love. What I hate, is my social media feeds plastered with everyone’s vacations for the entire break. Vacations to Hawaii, traveling the country with happy kids (and dog) in tow. A family reunion at a pricey resort, with a quick stop at Disneyland on the way home. A beach trip, a beach trip, and another beach trip. Can you guess where my family’s going this break? Yup. Nowhere.

If you can relate then you have the same question each break that I do. How can my family enjoy this break when we can’t vacation like we want to? Or maybe vacation at all? The answer is, you have to step back and look at what you’re really feeling. Once you understand that, you can tackle the envy head on and get back to enjoying your family time again.

family vacation envy

 

What are you REALLY envious of?

When I see posts of my friends and family on vacations, I don’t typically want to be on that specific vacation. So why am I so jealous that they’re there and I’m not? My reason is because I’m my best self when I’m not hindered by work and other stresses. When does that usually happen? You guessed it, when I’m on vacation. THAT is what I’m jealous of. I want to be carefree, spending fun, memory-making time with my family. But guess what else? Vacation isn’t the only place we can do that.

 

The Common Ingredient is You.

Believe it or not, kids don’t need expensive vacations to be happy and neither do you. Yes, they’ll talk about the big trips the most, but they aren’t necessarily the ones they remember the most fondly. A child’s happy formula is a lot like ours, if they can laugh with you, have your undivided attention and do something fun and out of the ordinary, that’s all they need.

Here’s some no-cost / low-cost adventures my family went on that gave my kids something to say when the teacher asked, “What did you do over the break?”

 

Low-Cost High-Adventure Family Time

 

MOVIE FORT

One of my families favorite no cost adventures is building a movie fort in our family room. We pin and staple sheets and blankets to the ceiling until the entire room is encased. Then we pop some popcorn, bake some cookies and watch a movie or two (or three or four). Some times we even sleep in the fort. The kids love it. It’s also a great activity to invite friends to join in on. Their friends always leave saying, “We never do that at my house.” Which will be a major confidence boost for your child.

family vacation envy blanket fort

 

SECRET MISSIONS

This one is great for shorter breaks, like spring or winter break. It’s as simple as having one or two easy activities planned for each day. When your kids wake up (and finish their chores) you hand them their secret mission for the day. Some ideas we’ve done in the past are:

  • Boxes, Crayons and Sidewalk Chalk: I load these three into their secret mission box, and their “mission” is to create a town for their scooters and bikes using those items. It keeps them busy ALL day. Then my husband and I go for a tour of their town on one of their scooters when they’re done.
  • Making Cookies Blind-folded: This mission works best with older children, that can read. One parent or child is blind-folded, while their partner guides them through making the cookies. Cracking eggs and mixing in flour can get really adventurous! I may have purposely missed the bowl and poured the sugar on the counter before, just to make them laugh.
  • A Grocery Shopping Race: Let’s face it, sometimes you still have to get stuff done over the breaks, but why not turn it in to a fun activity for the family? For this one, the family is divided in to two or more teams. Each team has a portion of the grocery list. There’s a designated meeting spot once the team has gathered all the items off their list. Fastest team wins! The winning team gets to choose the family treat – like which flavor of ice cream – but everyone gets to eat it.
  • Fake Money and Garage Sale Stickers: Following the grocery store theme, this secret mission was a favorite for my kids when they were little. You give them free reign of the pantry and a room in the house that can be transformed in to a grocery store. They are allowed to stick the garage sale stickers (or any other stickers with prices on them) on the food you already have in your pantry and then go shopping for it to buy with their fake money (Monopoly money is perfect for this). Laundry baskets are great shopping carts, and a stud-finder from the hardware store works great for their food “scanner” since it makes an awesome beeping sound.
  • Secret Service: One of the fastest ways for you or your kids to stop being jealous of other’s vacations is to get out and do something nice for someone else. The secret missions in this department are endless! Why not take some of those cookies you made blindfolded to a neighbor (as long as they’re edible)?

CAMPING 

Camping is cheap, kids love it, and most parents can handle it for one night! There’s other alternatives too, like setting up the tent in your backyard, sleeping on the trampoline or having a campout in Mom and Dad’s room (you get your comfy bed and the kids will think your floor is an adventure).

Not up for a whole night outdoors? Find a park that will allow you to build a fire and make S’mores or roast hot dogs for dinner. Bonus points from the kids if it’s near water they can throw rocks in!

family vacataion envy camping

 

As weird as it might seem, the final piece of advice is to rehearse with your kids what to say when someone asks them what they did over the break. I know that might sound odd but think about it from their perspective. The main reason that a kid wants to go on a vacation (aside from being with you), is because they want something to tell their friends about. Help them know what to say that they’ll feel proud of. Things like, “I went on a Mission Impossible week.” Or “My Mom made cookies with a blindfold on.” Each one of these scenarios will…

  1. Get their friends asking questions
  2. Will help them get the positive attention they’re craving
  3. Will get you a break full of memories you can afford and… maybe a thing or two you can post on Instagram.

What it all boils down to is that a vacation is not as much about where you go as it is about spending time with your family and getting away from the ordinary. I think it’s about time we take a break from the mindset that going on a vacation means you have to leave home. Get creative, laugh with your kids and I promise this break you’ll have the best family “vacation” you’ve had in a really long time.

family vacation envy family time

 

About the Author

Jenner Porter lives in Austin, TX with her husband, four kids and kitchen aid mixer. They spend long, happy hours baking together. Sometimes she hangs out with her husband and kids too. Jenner writes picture books, middle grade novels, magazine articles and short stories. Humor is an important element in her writing and can be seen throughout her works. Her works have appeared in Jack and Jill, Friend, Ensign and Highlights magazines. She also has a picture book featured on storybird.com.  Follow Jenner on Twitter here: @slushpilestory

 

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Moms, Get the Big Stuff Right

 

 

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10 Simple Ways To Say I Love You (BFFs Included!)

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We all want to be loved.  There’s this little part of our heart that gets all warm and melty when we feel cared for and acknowledged. I don’t know about you but when I am told all the things I “should” do to make sure my spouse or best friend know I love them, I get incredibly overwhelmed. Really it’s the perfect recipe for me to shut-down and completely swear off any kind of positive interaction. Little dramatic much? Maybe.

With that said, I started to sort through the many ways my spouse (who is my very best friend) acknowledges me every day. I realized that these small acts, words or gestures really make my day and I’d be lost without them.  If you don’t have a spouse, there are plenty of loved ones that could use these same simple acts in their life — and it won’t kill you to do them. Trust me. If I can do it, so can you.

 

1. Send a quick text

It does not have to be extravagant. It doesn’t even have to turn in to a conversation. Heck, don’t even expect a reply back. A little text saying “Hey, hope your day is going well!” or a too-good-to-pass-up GIF is always appreciated. The key here is that the text is being sent for the other person, not for you to receive gratification. Do it because you are thinking about them and want them to know.

Ways to Tell your BFF I Love You

 

 

2. Share things you love (and think they’ll love, too)

Is there a podcast you are freaking excited about? Is there a post on social media that makes your sides burn with laughter? Is there a book you’re reading that you can’t put down? TELL THEM ABOUT IT! Even if they don’t follow through with your same excitement, the shear fact that you want to introduce them to it will mean a lot. Not to mention the pure joy it brings when you both can’t handle how great Stranger Things on Netflix is.

 

3. Do an act of service (without any expectations)

A perfect example of this would be when my loving hubby does a load of dishes and doesn’t follow up his act of service with “Did you see that I did the dishes?”  A service is meant as a sweet act or gesture with no expectation in return (are you seeing a theme here)? Acts of service are meant to be helpful and a show of love. If you force the other person to acknowledge the act, or simply expect it, then the service wasn’t about them but about yourself. Acts of service can be as small as wiping down the counter or rolling garbage cans up from the sidewalk (yes, even if it’s for your BFF who lives a city over). No true act of service is too small.

 

 

4. Compliment Them

Seems simple, eh? How many times do we see someone we adore and don’t tell them? Start telling them! Don’t be creepy about it (not all of us deal well with compliments), but be honest. Their hair killing it? Tell them! Do they smell nice? Tell them! Even something as easy as “I love you” (yes, even to your non-spousal BFF) can go a long way.

 

5. Amazon A Little Love

One of my favorite things are random treats my sister sends from Amazon.  She and I speak a lot of the same love languages (food anyone? okay fine, that may not be an official love language, but whatever), so I have gotten random surprises from my favorite candy, a hilarious coloring book to a fun game for my kids. I know she is busy and doesn’t have a lot of extra funds to be spending on me, so the thought of her stopping to do that truly warms my soul.

 

ways to say i love you amazon

 

6.  Listen to Them Without a “You” Response

I have learned that when I try to “connect” with people, it’s done by sharing a story I think is related to the conversation. At times this can come off as me trying to talk about myself and not acknowledging the other person. I have to consciously make a choice to simply listen. We don’t always have to reference our experiences or share our point of view. We just need to be willing to hear them. Heard = loved.

 

7. Ask “How Are You?”… And Wait For A Response

Weird, right? Nope. How many times a day do we say “Hey! How are you?” but don’t really mean it?  Just once, when you say this, really mean it; wait for a response. If you really love someone, you may have to tell them “No, but really…how are you?” We’re all guilty of glossing over this question, so now’s the time to pick one person you really love to try this on.

 

8. Fold The Clean Laundry

This may be a totally selfish request, but I’d marry each and every one of my friends that did this for me.  Folding laundry means so much, in fact, that if I’m ever babysitting at a friend’s house, I try to fold any laundry they have laying out.  This could get weird if you don’t really know the person, so maybe use this one at your discretion. If you’re hanging out at your friend’s house, turn it in to a laundry folding party. Sure it may be weird at first, but the joy (and relief) you bring will be worth it.

 

ways to say i love you laundry

 

9.  Hug It Out

Hugs are not only a way to say I love and care about you, but it is scientifically proven to have numerous health benefits. Benefits such as reduced stress and anxiety, pain relief, and decreased levels of depression.  If any of you are like me, my real feelings are rarely hidden in a hug (not those side-hugs, a true bear hug).  If I’m on the verge of a melt-down or having a bad day, a hug usually brings me to tears. I can’t help it. I let go when I’m hugged and oftentimes it’s a much needed release.

 

10. Bring Them Bacon

I don’t feel like this needs any explanation. Bacon = love. However, if you have a non-bacon-lover (is there such a thing?) then bring or send them whatever their heart adores. A sweet friend of mine was having trouble finding gluten-free donuts only to be greeted by a delivery man courtesy her friend who lived across the U.S.  I’ve also been surprised by an UberEATS delivery courtesy my husband who knows I never feed myself lunch even though I need it. I’m telling you…food should be an official love language.

 

What is love language?

If you don’t know, you need to hop on this as soon as possible. After hearing about love languages from a source I didn’t fully respect, I pulled it up and took the test in the most immature and mocking way possible. Guess what happened? It was the best test I have ever taken for myself and my relationship. There are 5 Love Languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch.  When you know how someone (including yourself) feels loved, it is 1000 times easier to express love in ways that will make a big impact.

Don’t know your love language? Take the test here. It’s free!! (Click on “Learn Your Love Language”)

You can also have your kids take a test meant just for them. Click here, click on “Learn Your Love Language”, select “My Child”.

Trust me when I say that knowing your love language(s) will improve your relationships ten fold. Knowledge is half the battle, amiright?

 

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Tech Reset – Trimming Your Instagram Feed

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If you are a frequent user of Instagram and you aren’t regularly unfollowing accounts, you need to. Instagram is a visual social media platform and its meteoric rise rivaled Facebook which eventually led to Facebook purchasing Instagram. For years, Instagram stayed static with the chronological feed of photos which was a lot of its appeal – it was the anti-Facebook. Today, it has all but swallowed Snapchat whole “adopting” stories. Instagram has it’s own generation of social media influencers. Because it is such a visual platform, we consume perfectly curated snapshots of others lives.

Your feed on Instagram is of your own creation but over time, you’ll follow accounts that are unnecessary or even damaging to your mental health. A recent survey ranked Instagram worst for young people’s health. Social media may set unrealistic expectations and contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Because Instagram is so visual, with personal photos at the forefront, Instagram can easily affect you and support the idea that you are unable to measure up. Trimming the fat – getting rid of unnecessary accounts will help. You should strive to keep only those accounts that are inspiring and important to you. Cleansing your Instagram feed should be a regular component of social media detox.

I adopted the practice of routinely cleansing my Instagram feed a few years ago upon the suggestion of a fellow Instagrammer.  It was an arbitrary number, but he suggested keeping those I follow to under 500. So when I see that number start to creep up again, I start my cleanse. Just before writing this post, I followed 528. After, I was down to 462. Since the number of people that you follow will vary greatly, I would suggest that every time you drop accounts, shoot for dropping 10-20% of your followers. Or,  just pick a number to shoot for as a goal.

social media cleaning

 

Ready to get started? Here are some suggestions.

  • According to Instagram, 80% of users follow a business. There’s that thing on Instagram where you just have to like a photo and follow an account for a chance to win. I won’t lie, I do this all the time. The easiest way to trim the fat is to start with the businesses, companies or social media influencers that you don’t need to see in your regular feed. Now that Instagram regularly inserts ads, why contribute even more to the clutter by following a dozen businesses?
  • Let’s get back to social media influencers or bloggers. Sometimes I follow them for their recipes, crafts or style. Sometimes I follow them to see the exotic places they’ve traveled. But once I start feeling negatively when I see those perfect photos, I know it’s time to cut the cord and say goodbye. There is no need for that in my feed.
  • Now, what about friends or even family that makes your face go twisty when you see their feed? You know, the one who constantly posts photos of her rock hard abs that she worked hard to get. Or the one who makes yourself ask, who is taking this picture of you acting naturally and perfectly styled with your very clean and well-dressed children? If the account does not bring you joy, stop following it. If they are friends or family, you can most likely catch them on Facebook, or you can just check in on their account once in a while, leave a friendly comment and a heart.
  • Another easy way to purge accounts is to unfollow people you don’t know personally. If you can’t remember how or why you started following them in the first place, it’s probably time to say goodbye.
  • A super easy way to drop accounts is to unfollow those who haven’t posted in 6 months. Obviously, there is discretion in this one but there are a lot of your friends who started on Instagram and you clicked follow. For some, Instagram isn’t their thing and they stopped posting or don’t even use the app anymore.

Don’t feel obligated to follow any account even if they follow you! Leave a comment about how you felt after clearing out your Instagram feed. My guess is that you’ll be glad you did it.

 

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Doctors Say Cramps as Painful as a Heart Attack. Women Respond: “LOL! DUH.”

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Did you know there’s a clinical term for painful menstruation? It’s called Dysmenorrhea.

Show of hands…who here has ever experienced non-painful menstruation?

Right. Because angry uteruses are not in the business of peaceful negotiation. The uterus is all about shock and awe.

Menstrual cramps happen because of contractions in the uterus, or womb, which is a muscle. If it contracts too strongly during your menstrual cycle, it can press against nearby blood vessels. This briefly cuts off the supply of oxygen to the uterus. It’s this lack of oxygen causes your pain and cramping. (Via webmd) 

So your uterus is basically a cranky toddler that has taken to HOLDING ITS BREATH.

Know wonder it hurts.

And now researchers are getting hip to the fact that period pain is actually agonizing.

Frank Tu, director of gynecological pain at NorthShore University HealthSystem, tells Quartz some physicians are taught that ibuprofen “should be good enough.” Clearly, this is not an adequate response to such severe pain. How severe? John Guillebaud, professor of reproductive health at University College London, tells Quartz that patients have described the cramping pain as “almost as bad as having a heart attack.” (Via Quartz)

Admittedly, I’m a bit surprised by this statement.

Because:

  1. I’ve never had a heart attack, so I can’t accurately compare the two.
  2. Culturally, we like to act like period pain is no big deal. Or that women are being weak and overdramatic.

Right. So I’m supposed to cruise through a few days with consistent, heart-attack-like pain, and we’re gonna just rub some ibuprofen on that?

Now, I’m not on the hunt for a big pile of pain meds to ease my menstrual cramps every month, but I’d sure love it if we (all women and all men) could get to a place where we could admit that periods are a thing, and they are legitimately painful. And that perhaps that level of ongoing pain, ON A MONTHLY GD BASIS, isn’t all in our mind or cause for eye-rolling, from anyone. 

Most women I know power through their day, marinating in the pain reliever of their own choosing, and only when all the things are done, do they crawl into bed with a heating pad across their belly.

So highest of fives to all the ladies out there today that are wracked with pain and are cruising through life like it’s no big deal. I hope there’s a brownie, some Netflix, and a heating pad in your future. 

 

 

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I Once Was The Woman Waiting To Be A Mother

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I love this quote.
I once was her, the “one,” waiting, wishing, hoping to be a Mother.

Finding out I was finally going to be a Mom was one most incredible feelings. It didn’t matter whether I was going to give birth naturally or have a cesarean (we are all rockstars btw). And it didn’t matter that my body was going to change drastically. I was finally going to be a Mom, a Mom to triplets!

And although I never imagined my body would look the way it does now, it represents so much more. There is a lot of extra skin, stretch marks, sag and wrinkles. And while my new Mom body may be hard to love sometimes, it is a new me that represents the power of the female body and the miracle of carrying three babies.

I call my postpartum marks my “Hope wounds” and they have taught me a greater meaning of self-love and appreciation for my body. There is empowerment for yourself in loving yourself.

Our postpartum marks are stories of hope, stories of love, and sometimes stories of loss. There is so much beauty in our Mom bodies because above all they represent life, our children, and the undeniable love we have for them.

For the “one”somewhere wishing, hoping, praying for her miracle, this is for you. May you have hope in your journey and be reminded that you are never alone. And to all the Mama’s struggling to love themselves: you’re beautiful, and strong. It is okay to take the time to grieve your pre-baby body. Your feelings for how you may feel about your body are valid and heard, but I hope, today, you are empowered to love yourself a little more today!!

 

dear anxietyAbout the Author

Desiree Fortin is a Mom to almost 2 year old triplets. Her journey to become a Mom was not easy, but it is one of hope and beauty. Desiree is a blogger and photographer. You can read Desiree’s blog, visit her on Instagram, or visit her Facebook page to learn more.

 

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Charlize Theron Parenting is All Of Us

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My favorite kind of parent are those who don’t pretend life is glitter and butterflies all the time. Let’s be honest: if your kid has never been in timeout or had that mean-fast-parent-walk head towards them, you should get some sort of medal.

I’m pretty real when it comes to my kids, their attitudes, my attitude and why sometimes the kids aren’t my favorite little people in the world. I know I may have taken it too far when family members start reminding me, “They’re good kids.” This is true. But today they need to be “good kids” in their room. With the door closed.

It’s this kind of real talk that made me fall in love with Charlize Theron just a little bit more.  Let’s all take a moment and relish in her parenting honesty:

Yeeessss!!! Kids will be kids. Sometimes their insanity and endless giggling makes me laugh and smile, but after the 15th time out of bed when “I just want to watch my grown-up show!!” things get real.

Parenting is hard. Being a kid is hard, too. When your kid acts up, he’s not the devil or the worst kid in the world. He’s normal! When you get mad because said kid acts up, you’re normal!  If we can’t laugh at our reality, then what on earth are we doing? I’ll tell you what we’re doing–slowly dying inside because of the guilt, stress and anxiety we’re causing ourselves.

So the next time you want to post on social media about what a blessing and joy your kids are–go for it. Just don’t forget to add in those posts where you’re over it. Trust me when I tell you the parental troops will rally because you. are. not. alone.

And just in case you don’t believe me, here are some my favorite Instagram parents you should be following.
 

@SimonCHolland

 

A post shared by Simon Holland (@simoncholland) on

 

@mommycusses

 

@kidsaretheworst

 

@howtobeadad

 

Kids, man. Dang.

A post shared by HowToBeADad.com (@howtobeadad) on

 

@fatherofdaughters

 

Monday’s are always difficult, and not just because it’s the start of the working week. @mother_of_daughters heads offbat 4.45am to have a break from us to work, leaving me in charge of coordinating both the am & pm routines which can be more challenging than starting a fire with a tray of ice cubes. As the sun rose, everything was fine, but I can only assume that Ottie urinated in delilah’s imaginary tea in the home corner at nursery, as upon arriving at home this evening, world war 3. Delilah silently decided to use Ottie as a budget floor mop & dragged her by the hair through her own dinner like a plough, forcing me to reluctantly dust off my invisible referees outfit once again & quite literally keep them at arm’s length from eachother until bedtime. Who else out there just loves Mondays? #thatgirlcanholdagrudge #dadreferee #catfight #twins #comehomeclemmie #toddlerhairtransplantrequired #fatherofdaughters #dadlofe #fod #instadad

A post shared by Simon, also known as FOD (@father_of_daughters) on


 So when you feel like you are sucking it up at this parenting gig, I suggest you find yourself a nice, dark closet. Bring your favorite treat and/or drink and hide away for 10 minutes. Maybe 20. Or at least until it gets eerily quiet and you have no choice but to find out what depths of hell have quietly awoken. Best of luck. Just know I fully support you and whatever choices you make today. I especially support you if it means you ignoring the laundry to giggle with someone who needed extra love (even if that someone is you).

 

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